self doubt

Am I good enough for him? – Dating from a place of lack


When I was going through Instagram reels one day I came across this reel about coming from a place of lack in dating. The reel spoke about setting yourself up for failure when you come from a place of lack. It made me think about a thought I have when dating sometimes and it is ‘am I good enough for him.’ I am guessing most people have had that thought at some point.

Side note: Reels are very addictive so watch out. They can take hours of your day and you don’t even realize.

Understanding what coming from a place of lack means

In my own life, I completely resonate with this feeling of coming from a place of lack in dating.  When I think someone is too good for me it can be anything from too good looking, too intellectual, or too funny I doubt myself and act from a place of lack. What does acting from a place of lack can mean is self-sabotaging, not being myself because it is not good enough, or giving of insecure vibes.

Coming from a place of lack means thinking I am not enough for the other person.

Behaviour changes when you come from a place of lack

When I think someone isn’t good enough for me I end up acting differently. Usually, I am confident and speak my mind. But when I am coming from a place of lack I doubt myself. My normal carefree nature goes away and I overthink every move that I make. This can sometimes lead to me doing things like over texting (overcompensating) to keep the person interested. Or trying to follow weird rules like waiting for the person to text before I text or if the person ignores me for 4 hours I’ll ignore them for 5 hours. All those games for me come from a place of lack. Because I am insecure in that state I try to follow guidelines. I overthink everything instead of being myself which is far more attractive.

If the person says something intellectual and I don’t agree in a normal situation I would say something back. But in this type of situation I just end up agreeing with everything because I doubt I am on that same level of smartness. Because I feel insecure I downplay my own intellect.

I go with the mindset that this is not going to work and I basically manifest the end of the relationship by doing this. Go in thinking things will be great and things will turn out great. The universe gives you what you ask for so change the way your mind thinks to change the results you get.

People feed off the energy you give out and if your self-talk is I am not good enough for this person that is the energy you will be giving out.

You might even unconsciously self-sabotage yourself because you are scared of being rejected. Those thoughts in your head that he is too good for me what is the point of even trying to make this work can be an example of self-sabotaging. It can be in an unconscious way that you don’t even realize at times.

Wrap up for am I good enough for him

You are great and you deserve something great. You deserve someone attractive, funny, and smart or whatever you desire. Next time you find someone like that know you are worth it.

Change your inner self-talk and tell yourself you are worth it and you deserve this person. When we start feeling we are enough we will attract someone that is good enough for us.

Identify how you act when you are coming from a place of lack. Is there something you can do to change that? Rewording my thoughts helps me change my behaviour. Notice how you act when you are coming from a place of lack and when you are coming from a place of abundance. Note down the difference in behaviour and then adopt the abundance behaviour.

You can change your behaviour and the feeling can follow later.




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