If you have recently started dating someone gone a few dates or been dating for a month or a few months it is important to eventually have the are we exclusive talk. Previously in dating, it was obvious that you were exclusive, or at least this was a case when I was in school and university. But nowadays the lines are blurry and well you can’t read someone’s mind so it is better to have the conversation.
If you don’t ask the question straight up you will never know. So if you think the time is right then ask. Everyone’s time for when they think is right is different for me it is one to three months depending on the situation but you could think after 3 dates you want to know and that is okay but first assess the situation. There doesn’t have to be a timeline it can be based on feelings as well.
Tips on having the are we exclusive talk
Assess the situation
You don’t want to scare the person away so see what vibes they are giving you. Do you think they are also as serious as you and ready to be exclusive? You can pick this up from the way they are behaving, conversations regarding previous relationships, and the language they are using about your future. You are the only one who can judge the situation if it is time to have that conversation.
Don’t say I need to talk to you
Telling people you need to have a conversation or need to talk can stress the other person out. If someone says that to me my mind goes in hundred different directions one of them being they want to end it so doesn’t stress the other person out and casually bring it up. So don’t let them know your plan in advance.
Casually bring it up
Bring it up in a casual manner it doesn’t have to be a big thing if you don’t make it. Have the conversation in person as it is easier to understand the person. Having the conversation on text can cause miscommunication.
The best time in my opinion is when he is dropping you home and you are sitting in the car. That gives an ideal moment to bring up anything and leave him with something to think about.
Don’t try to pick the most fun moment to bring it up as it can change the mood. But any normal moments are okay to bring this type of conversation up.
Straight up say it
You don’t have to beat around the bush to discuss how you are feeling. You can tell them you like them and you aren’t seeing other people and wanted to know if they were. Ask them if they are ready to be exclusive. The more you communicate with your partner the stronger relationship you will have.
If you want them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend you can say it or if you aren’t ready for that or think that is something that will come naturally that is okay.
Explain what you mean by exclusive
Sometimes it can be confusing for someone to understand what you mean by being exclusive. I have had someone think I was asking to be in a relationship when all I wanted to do was date was without seeing other people. So explain what being exclusive means to you as everyone has a different understanding.
It is okay if they aren’t ready to be exclusive
If they aren’t ready doesn’t mean that they don’t like you or aren’t interested. Judge the situation are you okay with waiting it out a bit and seeing where it goes. You can even ask them where they see this going. Dating and relationships work on communication. Them saying they aren’t ready yet can mean they will never be ready or that they need some time so be confident in asking them so there is no miscommunication.
Don’t go in expecting a certain answer because you will be disappointed. Be ready to hear and understand what they have to say. If you are unsure what they want or mean – ask follow-up questions.
It’s okay if you aren’t willing to wait
The decision rests with you and if you want to wait for them to be ready or you aren’t comfortable not being exclusive.
Don’t be afraid of having the exclusive talk. Yeah, you might not get the answer you wanted or expected but you will find out what the other person is thinking and that is important. Relationships fail because people don’t communicate with each other. If you want a relationship in the future with this person you need to start communicating.
Through this conversation, you can identify whether the person ever has the intention of being serious with you. Because there are some people that never want to be exclusive and you would never know that unless you ask.
Didn’t like his answer and not willing to wait for him? You can let him know the reason it might change his mind. But if it still doesn’t read our blog on how to break up with someone.
Whichever way the exclusive talk goes know that you are worthy and an amazing person. If you are looking for more than just the exclusive talk and want to find out where the relationship is going we have the perfect blog for.