Have you been having no success with dating and you have no idea why? You could be making this small dating mistake that is keeping you from finding the person.
Are you putting people on a pedestal before you even start dating them? This can happen unconsciously without us even realizing because that is a dating mistake.
For example, I used to start planning my life with the person as soon as we matched. Hype them up in my head. This would give off the energy that I think the other person is better than me. It would show in small actions that I was taking. I would end up doing everything they wanted to and be scared to express myself. The fear of not being myself was making me be an inauthentic version of myself that isn’t attractive.
One mistake I was making was thinking if a guy asks me to meet and I am busy to change my schedule for them. I thought that is just being nice and showing you care. But it can end up seeming like you don’t value yourself and aren’t setting boundaries. I know it is something that can seem small and if it doesn’t matter to you if you change the plan then why should it matter to someone else so much? Well, we can’t control what other people think about the actions we take. On top of that, your time is valuable and you don’t need to change your plans for other people.
If you have been cancelling on friends to plan dates on the day of this is the reason it might not be ending well. The first impression we make can have an impact. It can be confusing because you want to be nice so how do you find the balance? By being authentic. Be yourself. What would you do if this was someone apart from the person you are trying to date. Would you go cancelling plans for them?
When you are your authentic self and value yourself you attract the right kind of person who values you.
How to work towards not putting someone on a pedestal
Take the dates slowly and don’t rush planning on what is happening. Going with the flow and appreciating the now instead of planning the future can make you enjoy the moment as well.
Checking yourself when you are making up stories about the future on the first date. Acknowledging that it is just the first date can allow you to enjoy the date for what it is.
No one is better than you. Everyone has some imperfections and that’s what makes us humans. So the person you are putting on a pedestal is also imperfect.
Be yourself and you will attract the right person because you are great!
Looking for more Dating tips? Check out our blog on improving your dating life