Are you thinking about marriage and the question has come to your mind ‘ are you ready for marriage?’ This is a huge step in your life and most of us at least want to go into a marriage hoping it will be the first and last time. With the divorce rates rising we have to be more cautious about what type of relationship we are getting into and if we are ready to take that step. Marriage is beautiful but it is something we have to think about before rushing into. Love is great but it is not always enough.
Are you ready for marriage?
Why are you getting married?
The reason you want to get married is important. So you need to ask yourself why you want to get married? Are you okay with the reasons you gave yourself? Your reasons are your own and it is whatever you find justifiable. It could be because the person is caring, the right person or you want a family. As long as the decision is something you are making on your own.
Other people can take over our thought process. Is it because you are being pressured? In brown families, if you aren’t married by a certain age you are seen as worthless. You could be the most famous person, have the best career or be a high-end Politician but if you are a girl and not married you are considered nothing. Such a high value placed on something could psych anyone into getting married for the wrong reasons. If you are feeling pressured take a step back and ask yourself is that the only reason or is this something you want yourself? Because you are going to go into the marriage and if you aren’t going into it for the right reasons when things get tough you won’t be able to fight it out. And marriage is tough like any relationship. Know that you are a complete person on your own!
Fear of being alone
Because in brown society you are considered only marriageable at a certain age you start having these thoughts that if I do get married by this age will no one want to marry me. Will my prospects not exist anymore. This isn’t true. As long as you are putting in the effort you will find someone. The Universe has a plan for you and you have to be patient. So don’t settle for the first person you see because you are scared of dying alone. Don’t think there are slim pickings there are more than 7.5 billion people in the world.
Are they someone you see yourself with in the long run
Think about the person. Do they care about you? Do the actions they do show that they genuinely care about you. Those are things that are important and last in the long run. Now in what regards, you want to be cared in is personal to you and depends on your love language. But are they willing to put in the effort and go the extra mile in the regard you want them to?
I might want romance and attention but you might just want someone who is willing to call the plumber when there is a leak. We all have different standards and different needs. So figure out what your needs are and are they being met in this relationship? Then you can decide to take it to the next step.
How you fight
Now, this is vital. Fighting where you block the other person out or do abusive things is not normal. It’s not going to just become better if you get married. So figure these things out before marriage.
Arguing can be healthy if there is proper communication.
Talk to the big things out. You can’t talk every situation out and marriage is a leap of faith but you need to talk about the big things. Don’t just think everything is obvious. Does the other person want children? How are their finances? What are the expectations of the marriage?
Check out our marriage questions and have a serious discussion
Even how you communicate with your partner is an indicator of how long you will last in a relationship. So don’t shut your partner out tell them what is on your mind and ask them questions about what is on their mind. Miscommunication can end a relationship so keep those gates open. Because in marriage there are going to be problems. It is a beautiful thing but it is challenging. If you have those communication gates open together you can conquer everything.
If after this article you felt you aren’t ready for marriage that is okay. If you found something questionable in your relationship that is okay as well. Talk it out with your partner. Try to fix things and make them better. Relationships can be improved it just takes work!
There is no perfect time for marriage it is when you feel ready. It can be at 20 and it can be after 40. It is different for each person.