Breadcrumbing in dating might actually be worse than ghosting because the other person doesn’t want to be with you but they are just throwing you a little bit of thread that is keeping you hanging on. When you decide you want to give up they throw you that thread again so you are stuck in this cycle where you find it hard to leave.
Breadcrumbing in dating
Texting
Breadcrumbing can happen in different situations. It can just be him texting you once a day or once a week and seeming super interested so you keep having conversations with him. In that one text, he probably seems very sweet and puts all his effort so it makes you feel like he is interested but that is really 5 minutes of his day when you have waited all day for this text.
There have been multiple times on online dating I have seen where the guy is doing the bare minimum but he continues at it as he wants me there. It gives him comfort knowing someone out there is interested in him. He also doesn’t like me enough to put in the effort. And that is okay but I rather not be someone’s backup to make them feel comfortable.
Getting a little bit can mess with your mind because it makes you feel as if someone is interested so you keep trying but they aren’t actually interested. You have thoughts in your head like why would he do that if he didn’t like me. What if I am giving up on him and it could turn into something amazing.
Excuses
Breadcrumbers love their excuses they can be from personal, family, work problems. The list honestly is endless with these people. They are constantly saying they are in turmoil and have an excuse for everything. It’s not just one time something is happening where you feel sorry for the person and try to be there for them it’s when the person is constantly in that position and you stick around because they have an excuse. The excuse makes it seem like they care but just don’t have the time. Everyone has time to send a few texts a day. It does not take a normal person 24 hours to text back.
Breadcrumbing when you try to leave
You might have made up your mind and said enough is enough. When you let him know he is suddenly all in. He puts in the effort but it only lasts a day or a week. That just shows he is just short-term trying to give you what you have asked for you so you stick around. He isn’t interested in putting in effort for the long-term. He doesn’t want you to leave and is now in panic mode and throwing you a lifeline so you stay hung on.
Suddenly after you laid it out straight he is giving you flowers and sending you messages all day. And if this is just a normal routine for you both then you know nothing is changing. You have put in the effort but it isn’t working out.
What to do with a breadcrumber
Communicate first so they understand where you are coming from. But always know you have the power to leave. So lay it out straight and let them know they are not doing enough and that you deserve more. They might fix their act but it’s on you to make sure its long term. If you are stuck in the short-term cycle where they change their behaviour for a while and back at it when you go back to acting normal then you just need to have no contact.
Cutting them off completely is the only way you are going to stop the cycle. You know otherwise, they are going to sweet talk you back into that trap.
Know that you deserve more than just being in a ‘breadcrumbing in dating situation.’ You deserve the whole bread because you are amazing so don’t settle for less.
