The sad new trend in the millennial life is getting ghosted. The bravery and chivalry of just letting someone know when it is over has gone. Now people hide behind our phones and ignore people. By not seeing them they don’t have to face the guilt of their actions and their life goes on. So, for someone who has been ghosted is it possible to get closure? Let’s find out!
You can redefine what closure means. Closure used to mean talking to the person hashing everything out and letting it go but since we have redefined dating can we redefine what closure means? Getting ghosted doesn’t provide us literal verbal answers but the action the other person has taken by not answering can be an answer in itself. So take that as a form of closure.
Closure from getting ghosted
Calling them out and then letting go
I recently met a guy a few times and one day he stopped texting. I asked him point-blank if he was ghosting me and a day later he replied saying he was busy. Then I gave him the option of admitting he was not interested and yet he decided to use the excuse of being busy and disappeared again. Then randomly send me a text about being busy which I replied to just with an emoji and later told him what he did was not cool. Even though he was ghosting me I got to say my piece and got to end it. Now, that might not work for everyone but that works for me. I like saying my piece so it was out of my system and the other person has received it. If you use this approach you have to be okay with the other person not responding.
This method of calling them out and then letting them go empowers me and also it leaves no questions of what if. Oh, what if he is actually busy and going through something and I should have been more accommodating. What if something happened. I know I am not alone when it comes to making what-if scenarios to second guess myself.
Taking no answer as an answer
Another method that has worked for me is taking the fact that they have not replied as an answer. I only use this method if I have sent a message with a question and gotten no response. If you just send an okay or a lol and don’t get a response then those are remarks that a response is not needed to. When you are dating someone and you ask them one or two questions and don’t get a response you know something is up. If enough time has passed and I have given them the chance with the questions I take their no answer as an answer. I use that as a closure.
I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have the decency to tell me something has ended. At the moment it feels shitty. But when you look back you are empowered by the fact that you got rid of someone that crappy. You deserve the best and someone who ghosts isn’t the best.
If letting go without saying your part isn’t your thing then say what you want to. Just know you might not get a response and that is okay.
Closure is accepting that something has ended whether you do it by sharing your feelings or accepting the nonresponse as an end. It is up to you to get yourself closure someone else won’t do it for you. You don’t need a response from the other person to get closure because the reason they ghosted you at the end of the day doesn’t matter. What will finding out the reason do for you? Read more about this in our blog about why did he ghost you?
Taking Steps to get Closure
So delete their number, the conversation and any social media ties and call that closure for yourself! You are taking a step to get that closure fro yourself.
Wrap Up for Closure and Ghosting
You getting ghosted is not your fault it is the other person not being brave enough to show they aren’t interested. Some people just don’t like confrontation and talking through devices has just made it easier for people to get away with that sort of stuff. Just know you aren’t alone in getting ghosted and it happens to most of us.
Wondering if ghosts come back? We can help you out with