Change is the only constant in our lives. Yet, it can be very stressful to deal with changes in our life. Whether they are rapid or slow they can have an impact on us. That’s why it is important to discuss dealing with change in your life.
Grief and Dealing with Change
“Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” – Grief recovery method
In my head, I always thought grief was only done for something big like losing a life. When I learned grief is a feeling that can be caused by change it opened my eyes.
There were times in my life when there was such major change that I felt broken but if I could have put a name to that feeling it would have been easier.
Changing countries
I remember when I left the country I was born in. The whole plane ride I cried. My life was changing probably for the better and I knew that but it was still changing drastically. I remember I wouldn’t even feel hungry for a month. Of course, after that, I ate a lot but there was a period where I was feeling all these emotions and didn’t understand why. Now when I look back it all makes sense. I was grieving. The country I had called my home for 19 years was no longer home and there was no going back since all my family had shifted. I barely got an opportunity to visit even. 10 years later I have healed but at that moment it was a lot. A different country meant different rules and culture. It was all happening too fast and I needed a moment to breathe then.
Knowing that change is something we need to grieve is empowering. We might even be happy about the change but there is some sadness in it. We are hard on ourselves that God is giving me everything so why am I feeling sad? You are feeling grief. Even happy change can cause grieving. You have probably seen people cry at weddings and wonder why are they crying. They are grieving the change. Leaving their parents’ house and starting a new life is a big change.
Changing a job
When I change a job I grieve my old job. Yeah, I got a promotion and it is all great. But you have a sense of belonging to the other place. Friendships that you have built. I remember, when I quit my first job even though the new job was way nicer I still missed the people I left behind and the adjustment took some time. I was grieving even though I was happy.
The pandemic
The pandemic changed our lives forever and it might not go back to what it was. So, it is okay to feel weird and grieve that. Anything life altering calls for us to process the feelings.
Dealing with change by processing feelings
So when you deal with change ask yourself do you need some time to process the feelings? Let yourself know it is okay you are grieving. Give yourself the time and space you need. Don’t suppress those emotions as they will come out in other ways that aren’t healthy.
Journaling about change can be cathartic. Finding someone to share these feelings with as it can be a way for you to release the emotions. So now that you have understood that there is more grief to than loss of life you can use that to go through stages of grief.
Reference: Grief Recovery Method
