Friends with benefits

Friends with Benefits and why it doesn’t work


Friends with benefits is being friends with someone and also hooking up with them. This is an arrangement where you decide to keep feelings out of it and just hook up. This sort of arrangement has become very popular. But the question is does friends with benefits really work?

We might be in it for the wrong reasons

Some people believe that a relationship will develop if they keep the friends with benefits going on. But that isn’t necessarily going to happen. The other person might not ever get to the stage where they want to get into a relationship. So don’t settle for less. If you want to date and eventually want it to lead to a relationship be bold and say it. Then if the other person doesn’t want the same things you know and won’t get hurt. You can’t expect to change someone’s feelings with time. Yeah, there is a chance it might happen but there is a higher chance it won’t.

Someone is bound to get hurt

The chances in this type of arrangement for one party to develop feelings are very high. You are spending lots of time together and getting intimate. You obviously find the person attractive. Yeah, there are people for whom this won’t make any difference and they can pull through but the average human will be affected by this and will develop feelings. You were friends with this person so you obviously did like them in some way. Add the hooking up and the time spent together it is hard to not get feelings. Unrequited feelings and getting rejected is not fun.

It can get awkward

So what happens when one person gets feelings and the other doesn’t. It leads to one of you getting hurt and then you have the same friendship group so you see the person everywhere. It is not an ideal situation and it really isn’t worth it. Because if you had tried dating at least there was a benefit of maybe ending together. But in a Friends with benefits situation, you are just doing this for the benefit of hooking up. And well there are better ways of being able to do that without involving your friends.

Low commitment

Well, with friends with benefits there are usually no strings attached which means you could be seeing other people. This can lead to jealousy when you or your friend starts to meet people.

Wrap Up for Friends with Benefits

So in my opinion friends with benefits is a recipe for disaster for most people. So, when deciding whether to get into such an arrangement ask yourself ‘is it worth it, and what is your motivation behind this arrangement?’


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