Resilient people bounce back out of adverse situations. They are adaptable, flexible, and have great coping mechanisms. Resiliency is something you can develop with some practice and effort. Let’s talk about how to become more resilient.
Part of resiliency is having people you can lean on. We as human beings are here to build connections and can’t do anything alone. You can’t deal with your problems on your own it helps when you can talk it out. Sharing your vulnerability and shame can reduce it. It helps clear things out of your system if you discuss it with someone else. These people include ones for your personal life, work-life, and other parts of your life. If you are having family problems you might want to discuss them with a friend so they can listen to you without bias. At work, you might want your coworkers to discuss how annoying the project has been as they’re the only ones who will understand. You need multiple people in your life that will make different situations easier.
- Do you have people in your life you can share with?
- Are there ways you can build connections?
- Are you comfortable with discussing your feelings?
You can’t overcome adversity or even a small problem in your life if you aren’t being able to fulfill your basic needs. This can include eating, exercise, showering, etc. If your cup is completely empty you aren’t going to be able to overcome anything. So it is important to start small and ask yourself are you being able to do the basics. Practice doing your basics when times aren’t tough so you are fully charged.
- What does self-care mean to you?
- Are your basic needs being met?
- Can you take some time out to deal with your basic needs?
Your mindset and whether you think adversity is something that can even be overcome plays a great role in whether you manage to overcome it. If you believe that it is your choice and you can choose to get better you will be able to bounce back. Thinking that you can change the scenario by practicing, putting in effort and new strategies can help as well. For example, if you have not been trying to get a job but you keep getting rejected if you have the attitude that you can get feedback and develop new strategies you will keep going. If you think you are doomed for failure you aren’t going to be able to get out of it.
- Do you believe you can come back from failure?
- What have you learned from your past failure?
- Do you believe you have a choice in what happens to you?
Your perspective on life can change everything. People who lack resiliency usually see everything as this is happening to me and only bad things happen to me. It puts you in a spiral of negativity. Being grateful for small things can change that. This doesn’t mean you don’t feel your feels when you feel upset or angry. It just means you appreciate the little things as well.
- What are ways you can practice gratitude?
Believing in something greater than yourself allows you to rise like a phoenix. This doesn’t mean just God you could believe in the Universe or any power that is greater than you. It gives you hope that you are here for a reason.
- What do you believe in?
You can achieve what you have set out by being persistent and this can be done by goal setting. Learn how to set your goals by using SMART goals. Start small and set achievable goals. The key is being persistent on your goals. There will be moments that they seem far fetched and full of obstacles but you have to keep at it.
You can develop skills to help you when you have an issue. Skills like breaking down, problem-solving and critical thinking can help put things into perspective. So practice and learn problem solving.
Wrap up for how to become more resilient
Don’t expect that resiliency means that there will be no bad days. There will be bad days and bad emotions but that is what life is about the hard and good moments. If you numb yourself in the bad moments you will numb yourself in joy. Resiliency just protects you from not going down in a spiral where you only feel the bad feels all the time.
Lastly, everyone needs breaks and moments so know that resiliency doesn’t mean it is good all the time. It just means you manage to get through the difficult stuff.
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