Breaking up is a hard thing to do. You have been with someone for a long time and connected with them. They could have become the person you are closest to. The person could be your current best friend. In a split second, you lose the person you are closest to. That is scary to think about. However, if you have worked on the relationship and things are just not becoming better it becomes necessary. To make the daunting process a little easier here is the Pigeontalk guide on how to break up with someone.
The answer depends on how long you have been dating someone for.
How to break up with someone you have been on a few dates with
If you have only been on a few dates with someone it isn’t really a break. It can be done through text. Don’t ghost the person as that leaves the person confused and hurt. Instead, send a simple text talking about how it is not working out and you enjoyed getting to know them. Check out our blog on break-up texts if you don’t know how to word the text.
You don’t need to offer the person friendship unless you really want to be friends with them. Don’t just say it for the sake of saying it.
How to break up with someone you have been dating for a few months
If you have been seeing the person for a few months you owe them a little more than a text. That is why you should at least pick up the phone. The main purpose is the same as the text. You need to tell them it is not working and you enjoyed the time. It is up to you if you want to give an explanation. If they ask you can give an explanation so they understand but you don’t need to go into an in-depth analysis as it isn’t a relationship. It would be nice to give a reason though.
How to break up with someone you are in a relationship with
Now let’s get to the hardest break up the one where you are in a relationship. If the person is your girlfriend or boyfriend you do owe them proper closure. So meet them in person and end it.
How to choose the place?
You want to be in a place they feel comfortable and not stuck. If your place is an hour away from there’s don’t make them come over just so you can break up. You can meet outside as well it doesn’t have to be at someone’s place.
You can meet at a coffee shop that isn’t too crowded. I say coffee because you don’t want to go for dinner and have an awkward situation where the food takes too long and the dinner takes long.
Now a coffee shop isn’t the ideal place as the purpose probably doesn’t want to cry in person. I think the ideal place would be the other person’s house. Unless you think they would become violent then it is best to do it in a public place where you feel safe.
A semi-public place where there is privacy but if something goes completely wrong there are people to help you would be the best situation
Why the break up is important
People feel bad when they have to break up with someone. But you know what’s worse than breaking up with someone? Staying with them out of guilt and stringing them along. I can’t speak for everyone but I would prefer someone ending it with me instead of them just staying with me because I am too nice and they feel bad.
If you have tried everything and it is not working then end it. Stop wasting that person’s time and your own. They can start getting over you if you do it now.
What to say?
Tell them the truth but don’t hurt them. If something is hurtful and unnecessary to say don’t say it. But if you think something is important to say and will help the person heal then go out and say it. Everyone wants to know the reason and if there is a reason make it clear. So the other person knows this is the end and why it is the end.
Make it an actual end. Don’t leave room for interpretation. Make it clear it is the end. Sometimes out of fear of ending something we don’t make it clear. We want to leave the room so the person can come back. But if you are sure let them know you are.
Be nice and understanding throughout the conversation. Let them know the good parts of the relationship as well as why it didn’t work. You don’t want to end it on an argument. If it is going in that route turn it around. You aren’t here to come up with a solution to making it work. Instead, you are there to end something so do what you went to do.
Cut everything off for now
You don’t have to stop being friends forever. But give the person the next few months to get over you and when they are you can rekindle the friendship part. If you don’t take the space you might get back in old patterns and it can get confusing for both of you.
Spend time on yourself after
Even though you wanted the break up it can be hard. So take time to introspect and reflect. Don’t get into something for a bit so you can take time to heal.
Should you give presents back?
Unless they ask you don’t have to give back presents. However, you should give them back their things that they left at your place or you borrowed.
Break-ups are hard for both people. But as I said before it is something important sometimes. So don’t stay in something because you don’t have the courage. Think of it as something as a necessity. The other person deserves to know how to are feeling instead of being in the dark.
Want to know how to get over someone? Check out our other blogs.