Break up

How to get over someone?

Dating

We have all been there, we like/love someone and it doesn’t work out. Everything has been tried to fix the relationship but it is just not working. We need to now move on and get over this person! But we don’t understand how and don’t believe it is possible. We are left wondering the answer to question ‘how to get over someone.’

So how exactly does someone recover from this? There is no way to just wake up tomorrow and be over someone. There are steps we have to ensure to make it happen with time. As annoying as it may sound time does heal wounds. We have to use that time wisely so we are moving in the right direction.

There is hope! You will not spend your whole life thinking about this person. However, it does take time and patience. So, lets get to tips on how to get over someone.

getting over someone you love

Get closure

Have a conversation with the person and discuss why you are breaking up. So you both get closure and can end the chapter. You don’t want to wait months and then think – what if I had said that would it have changed something? If you have a conversation closing the chapter you can start healing. 

You want to understand why you actually broke up that is what a conversation at the end does for you. Sometimes, the other person is not mature enough to have the conversation with us. In those instances we should still say our piece in either texting or in person we can get our part of the closure. 

Stop being friends with them 

Can you be friends with your ex? The answer is not so soon! You don’t want to be in contact with the person you are trying to get over. So after your closure conversation put an end to the friendship. Rekindling, again and again, means you have to start getting over him/her from scratch. 

You might think you are strong enough to be friends with him but no one really is, at least not straight away. If you keep in contact that hope of getting back together will still stay alive. Until that hope is alive you can not start your path to recovery. So stop going back and forth and starting from scratch. You are just delaying your healing process.

When you are over the person you can go back to being friends. Give it time though. You can not understand how to get over someone if you are friends with them.

Get rid of them on Social Media

You don’t want a constant reminder of the person you are trying to get over. Social media is a constant reminder. You know all their whereabouts. You can see their stories again and again. So get rid of that.

Wait a bit to make sure you want to delete it. When you feel ready to delete him/her. You don’t want to be in a situation where you end up adding them back. So I have an alternative suggestion. 

Instead of deleting people on social media I hide their information from showing. I would advise  hiding them from your timeline and hiding their stories. This will decrease the reminders of what they are doing in their life. Even their best friend’s story should be hidden.

Delete their number 

We all have weak moments where we feel like texting/calling the person we like. If we make it hard to find the number then we will have no choice. Give yourself no choice and delete the number. If you have no way to contact the person you can give the number to your friend for safekeeping. 

This will give you a choice of having the number if you need it but will also help with restraining.

Avoid events he/she will be there at

I am not saying don’t hang out with your friends if you are in the same social group. But if there is an event that his/her best friend is throwing and it won’t be such a big deal to you if you miss it. Skip out on one or two. Not seeing someone makes it easier for you to get over them.

Deal with the emotions 

how to get over someone

To get over someone you need to deal with the emotions you are feeling. There is no point in just hiding them they will come out in other ways. It will also delay your progress. So talk to your friends about what you are feeling and have a good cry. It is normal to be upset you just lost someone. It is okay not to be okay. Regulate your emotions instead of suppressing them. The more you try to suppress something the more it will come into your thoughts. 

Journal write

journal to get over a break up

You have probably had some songs you find annoying that you have shut midway stuck in your head. So why do the annoying songs get stuck in our heads? Well, it is because we don’t finish the thought through and are trying to suppress it. We shut the song midway and not when it is complete. When something is unfinished in our head it runs again and again. The same thing for if we try to suppress it. Just like that, if we think about the person we like and suppress our thoughts they will keep running in our mind. So instead of that write your thoughts in a journal. Vent it out and then burn the paper. That thought will be finished and will stop running in your head all the time. 

Remind yourself why you ended it

Once a relationship ends we forget the bad stuff and we romanticize the good stuff. Keep a reminder for yourself of why the break up happened. This will help you keep on the path of getting over the person. You can either write it in a notebook or on a whiteboard. You can even have a designated friend to remind you why you should not go back to your ex. There is a reason it ended so keep reminding yourself.

Wrap Up

In the end, it is a long process that requires time. But the first step is accepting you are over forever. That will help you move on. So start today and accept this is the end and there is no going back it will help you discover how to get over someone. 

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