Are you looking for ways to make your relationship healthier? Wondering what the secret behind a successful relationship is? Then keep reading. What the blog tells you won’t surprise you but it’s something you need to put into practice and keep reminding yourself. These are tools for all relationships, not just love interests. It is something that needs to be practiced throughout your life.
A relationship takes work it’s not meant to be easy. People are complex and for two people to work together it takes effort and time.
No one can read your mind not even your partner so share your feelings. Communicate what you are thinking. Avoiding the problem is not magically going to make the problem disappear. I am not saying to just explode with your thoughts on the other person. Instead, think your thoughts through, take your time and then share what you are feeling with your partner so they understand you better.
So next time you get upset at your partner and it’s something that you care about, communicate.
Communicate about the important topics before the relationship gets serious so you know you are on the same page. Are you okay with each other’s goals, values and lifestyles? You don’t want to be in a 2-year relationship and then find out you want to get married while your partner doesn’t ever want to be married or that you want to have a kid and your partner never plans to have a kid. Talk about these so it is not a problem later on. It will help you understand each other and make your bond stronger. You don’t have to agree on each topic but discussing it beforehand helps.
Think things through
If you are annoyed and want to say something mean breathe and think before you say anything you will regret. If you insult your partner it is something that he/she will later remember so be careful with your words. You don’t want to hurt the person you love.
Try to understand from their perspective you may not agree but try to deal with your partner by looking at the situation from their side. This requires a lot of patience and needs to be learned with practice.
We as human beings tend to talk, talk and talk. If someone else is telling us an issue instead of listening we bring up our own issue at that time. This is not the way communication. If we listen to others they will listen to us. So give your partner the benefit of you listening to them. This means actively listening and paying full attention.
Put that ego aside
If your partner is not giving you the attention you want and that’s bothering you talk to them about it. Thinking it’s an ego issue and you will do the same is not the solution. They probably aren’t even aware that it is bothering you. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt and share your issues instead of making it as an ego battle.
If a relationship is going badly some people just call quits cause they don’t want the one to be dumped as it will be an ego issue. But if the relationship ends aren’t you going to later think did I do everything to keep that relationship going? Or are you going to think about oh it is good I got rid of him first before he could get rid of me?
Take the 5 love language quiz with your partner to understand what their love language is. In any human relationship problems are created because people value different things and putting effort into a relationship means different things to people. One individual might think receiving and giving gifts is very thoughtful and others might think ‘acts of services’ is important. When a person is not receiving their love language he/she might take it as the other person doesn’t care or isn’t putting effort. Taking this quiz and other quizzes like this help you and your partner understand each other. This is a great quiz to take to understand your friends better as well.
Other quizzes can help as well. Taking quizzes on your security attachment will help understand whether your partner is fearful-avoidant, anxious, etc. Having real conversations about these types of things helps you and your partner understand yourselves and each other.
Put those games aside
Yeah, games and chase might be fun at the beginning but to keep a real relationship alive playing games is not going to work. You want to be your real self.
Don’t compare your partner to your ex
Learn from your mistakes and past relationships but comparing your current partner to your ex is not going to help. Each relationship is going to be different and take it as that.
You want your partner to feel safe around you not only physically but emotionally as well. For your partner to feel secure you need to work on yourself as well as your relationship. Respect your partner and be patient with them. Work on yourself understand your own triggers so you can be a better partner.
Practice these tips and your relationship will work. The first step is accepting that being in a relationship is not easy and you need to put in work with your partner.
If you are looking for ways to spice up your relationship check out the Pigeontalk blog on date ideas.