I have always found it difficult to say no to someone. That is why my goal for the year is to learn to say no.
Why we need to learn how to say no:
You can become overworked
It is important to learn how to say no because it is not possible to do everything.
At work when someone gives me work I struggle to be able to say no. This adds up the work volume I have to amounts that I can’t deal with. If I learn to say no and let my manager know that my workload is too much and it needs to be divided I would not have this issue.
There were times when I would stay back at work because someone would ask me a question when I was leaving and I wouldn’t know how to say no I have a bus to catch I’ll answer tomorrow. This would sometimes cause me to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. A nuisance in my life. Now think if I day this day after day how would I feel?
You can build resentment
If you do things you don’t want to constantly you can start building resentment. It can get frustrating to do things you don’t want to do continuously.
Prioritize what you need and what you feel. If you don’t feel like doing something it is okay to express your feelings.
Think about things you have said yes to that you didn’t want to do. Did you end up feeling resentment? If you could go back what would you have changed?
Lack of boundaries
If we don’t learn how to say no we might not have the courage to say no when someone is crossing our boundaries. We might be uncomfortable but still willing to let other people take advantage of us.
You need to take care of yourself to be able to be there for others. Part of practicing self care is learning to say no.
If you aren’t at your best you can’t help people. So, it is important to take care of yourself and if you need a break or time to yourself take it.
Learning how to say no
First, it is important to notice the moments you are saying no when you don’t want to. Understand the feeling you have after. When someone asks you to do something and you don’t want to give yourself time. Think it over. Talk to yourself and reflect on how you will feel after. This will give you the courage to say no. You can start with small things. Once you get into the habit you will realize how empowered you feel when you take control of your life.
Note down your progress so you can see your progress and the benefits.
There is no need to say no in a rude manner, be respectful. When you first start saying no people might be confused as it is not your usual behaviour. But give them time and they will understand.
I found thebraincoach‘s post on say “no” to very useful.
- ” People who make you feel unsafe
- The belief that you are not enough
- People who weight you down
- Situations that make you feel unwanted
- Shrinking yourself to fit places
- Choosing other people’s comfort over your own needs
- Resisting growth and heeling
- Allowing other people’s opinions to determine your worth
- Being passive with your goals
- People who disregard your emotional well-bring”