When you have a great first date you want the other person to text you after. It can be disappointing when you don’t get that text. When this does happen we sometimes read too much into it. So let’s discuss what to do in a situation where you don’t get a text after the first date.
No text after first date – Let’s break it down
You can send a text
Firstly, I want to say whatever gender you are there is no problem with being the first texter. The other person might just need a push. It is okay to send a text after the first date to showcase your interest.
If you are sitting and thinking why didn’t he text me the date was amazing then just send a text. You will find out if he is interested. If he doesn’t reply you can take it as a hint. If his replies are one word you know he isn’t interested. But at least if you text you will know.
In this situation, you have to think about what’s the worst that could happen? The worst is you can get rejected? How big of a deal is that for you? Getting a no from someone you don’t know. Yeah, it can hurt but that’s all it is a no from a stranger. It doesn’t mean anything! It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. Someone saw a glimpse of you and decided you weren’t for them. That’s okay! It happens in dating.
I like knowing instead of waiting around. So it is okay for you to text and find out whether he is interested. We have templates for text after dates for you to use.
Now he texts or you text him and then he disappears
For this situation context matters. If you said lol and he disappeared then he didn’t ghost you. But if you asked a question or sent a long paragraph and he went silent for 72 hours it might be a ghosting situation.
There are also situations where you are sending long texts and the other person is sending cold one text replies. You are going on about your day and they are saying cool, okay, well done, and great. This can be a hint of non-interest. Some people don’t just want to come out and say they aren’t interested so they try to subtly put it out there by fading off the conversation. So, try to see if the persons texting styles have changed before and after the date.
There are genuine things as someone being busy. But someone can’t always be busy so take that excuse with a hint of salt. If a friend told you the guy was busy for 2 weeks what would your response be? Seriously he didn’t have 5 minutes on his hand to text. How busy can someone be? Ask yourself that?
No text after date doesn’t mean you did something wrong
When a date doesn’t go well or we thought it went well and the guy isn’t interested our inner critic comes out. There must be something wrong with me. Am I not a good kisser? Did I say something wrong? Am I ugly? Did I wear the wrong dress? I argued too much! I should have let him pay the bill. The inner critic goes on and on trying to find a reason for there not being a second date.
But look at it objectively. Another person aka your date was also involved in the situation. He/she has a mind of their own, priorities, and interests. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong they could just be looking for something else. Some people come with checklists in their hands. She has to be religious and wanting to be a housewife. Or she can’t be argumentative and smart. Maybe you didn’t fit his checklist that’s okay. Give it some time and effort you will find someone better. They could have had a good time but because you didn’t meet one point on the checklist they decided to cut you out.
He could be seeing multiple people and decided he was interested in someone else. That doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive.
Life gets in the way sometimes and people don’t have time to date. They might go on a first date and realize it’s too much and then just stop wanting to talk. They could have had a great date and then gone home and been like I need to focus on my work right now.
A first date isn’t a reflection of who you are. It is a glimpse of your life. So don’t judge yourself so harshly if one guy didn’t want to be with you.
There could be hundreds of reasons why your date didn’t want to meet again. Don’t make it personal. If you want to learn from it that’s great. But don’t spend hours thinking about what did I do wrong. It is not necessary you did anything wrong.
Do you think other people don’t have great first dates that don’t land anywhere? Everyone has that. I remember when I first started online dating I had a good date. I was proud of myself and then I heard crickets from him. Yeah, it hurt but you have to get back on and put in the effort. Trust the timing and that you are exactly where you were meant to be. Keep at it and you will meet the person you are meant to be with.
You are enough!