Online dating redflags and how to spot them

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If you have been online dating and keep ending up on dates with players, people who just got out of serious relationships or just don’t look like the pictures in their profile I have come up with a list of online dating red flags to look out for. They say there are a lot of fish in the sea but if you have been coming across mostly trash these are some easy ways to filter. 

The one that messages only at night 

Is he only messaging you after 11 pm? Sending you texts to say meet at night? This is most likely a drunk booty call. I am not saying everyone who messages after 11 pm is only looking for something physical but if they are only consistently messaging you at odd hours they are looking for something physical/casual. If that’s what you are looking for it is not a online dating red flag but if you are looking for something serious then this a red flag. They say nothing good happens after midnight and in this case it is true.

The one that takes 24 hours to reply each time

If you guys are still talking on the app it might be taking him long to respond cause not everyone is on the app all the time and some apps are not that great connectivity wise. However, if you have taken the conversation to WhatsApp and you are asking questions and he is taking 24 hours to reply that is a red flag. One or two times you can let it go but if it is happening every single day for weeks on end it’s time to bring it up if you are very interested or cut your losses sooner rather than later.

Now it is okay if the last message was a lol or a statement and he did not respond because that can be a conversation ender. But if you asked a question and he is taking 24 hours to respond that’s a no…no…no. No one is that busy and is not looking at their phone that often. Cut your losses now if he is not responding now he probably won’t in the future as well.

The one that talks about their ex straight away

If they are bringing up their ex straight away into a conversation or again and again then there is something wrong. Clearly, some wounds haven’t healed and you do not want to enter something as a rebound or with someone that can not commit to something currently. If they are mentioning their ex straight away or in every conversation they are clearly not over her. Take the hint the universe is giving you.

The one that’s a re-appearing ghost

 He stops replying to your texts and then months or even a year later he randomly texts apologizing. Don’t make the mistake of falling into this trap there is no excuse for someone behaving like this let this one go you deserve better. He sooner or later will end up ghosting you again.

The one that is wearing sunglasses (in every picture) or has group pictures only

 If the guy is wearing sunglasses in every picture you can’t tell how they look. Most people look better in sunglasses. So, if there are only pictures with sunglasses you don’t know what he will look like. I am not saying don’t meet this guy but just be vary he may not be as attractive as his pictures

If the guy only has group pictures he is either trying to use his more attractive best friend to lure girls or he is using the cheerleader effect. The cheerleader effect is when you are using the group effect to cause a cognitive bias making the individuals in the group look more attractive. So be vary that guy might be less attractive in person.

The one that asks for you for pictures straight away

This is more of a pet peeve and not a real red flag. But if I have 5 pictures on my profile why do you need more? Is this to check for catfishing purposes? Do guys get something out of this I will never understand this and it is probably where most girls lose interest. Comment below if you have the answer.

The one that calls you babe in the first 5 minutes

When a guy is calling you babe and sending you kisses on the first day you know he is moving too fast. Flames that go up that fast die fast as well. He is doing this with multiple people and its honestly moving too fast. Having spoken to such guys and see how it goes I would suggest staying away and taking it as a red flag to say away from.

Wrap Up

Filter with this list and find the right guy for yourself! Because girl, you deserve the best and it is coming your way.

Planned a first date? Check out the Pigeontalk blog on first dates and first date conversation.


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