Deciding whether it is time to break up is hard because, during the relationship you care about the person so much, you don’t want to hurt them. You also don’t want to regret the decision. During the relationship, you are so close and after the break up it is like you never knew each other. Making this decision is hard. We have made a list, so you can question yourself and decide whether the signs you should break up are there.
Signs you should break up:
Justifying the relationship constantly
When we are in a relationship we do get love goggles and can’t see everything clearly. We might be the first ones to tell our girlfriends to break up with a guy if they behaved that way. But when it is happening to us we keep making excuses. So the first thing you need to notice is do you think you are constantly justifying your partner’s behaviour to your friends and yourself. Do you constantly have to make excuses for his/her behaviour?
There might be behaviour that you are okay with which is fine you and your friends don’t have to have the same deal breakers. But if you have to justify the behaviour to yourself that is an issue. This can be about your partner disrespecting you, emotionally abusing you and taking advantage of you.
Discuss the issue with your friends they might be able to reflect on the matter from an outsider’s point of view without the love goggles.
You have had multiple conversations and seen no improvement
You have told your partner multiple times about the problems in the relationship. The communication has been open on your part for the whole time however it has made no difference and you have not seen any changes.
You can’t give up on a relationship at the first sign there is a problem. But when you can honestly say you have tried and had conversations and nothing is changing, then it is time to let go.
You and your partner no longer invest time in the relationship. Relationships take work and if you have let your partner know you don’t think he is investing time and there is still no change. This is a constant conversation and nothing is being done it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. However, you need to ask yourself have you made a sufficient amount of effort.
You are scared of being yourself around them
You think you can’t act like yourself around your partner. Ask yourself why is that? Is it something that your partner is doing that is making you feel that way or are you always like that. Discuss this with your partner. If you think you always have to pretend that is going to eventually cause issues so take it as one of the signs you should break up.
You are constantly mean to your partner or they are constantly mean to you
Your partner has become a trigger for you. Everything he/she does annoys you. If this has happened it might be time to evaluate why this is happening. Try going for therapy to see why this is happening and if it something to do with your own issues. It could be stress at work or spending too much time with one person.
If your partner is the one being mean but upfront with them. Go to therapy and see if it is something fixable.
You would be willing to cheat
You are constantly looking for attention elsewhere or would be willing to be with someone else if they came along. Have you thought about going ahead and cheating on your partner? If you are having these thoughts in your head and are willing to leave your partner then it might be better to re-evaluate your relationship.
If your needs are not being met and you have tried everything it might be time to break up.
You find it difficult to communicate with your partner about serious matters. It has become hard to communicate without fighting. If this sounds like your relationship it is time to go for therapy. If you are still not able to do communicate then it is a sign you should break up.
You keep taking breaks
You are constantly breaking up and getting back together but nothing changes. There is a reason you keep breaking up. So ask yourself why? And if there is actually a solution. If there isn’t it is a sign you need to break up.
There is no trust
You don’t trust your partner. This can be about being faithful or not being able to trust your partner with anything. He/she has given you reasons in the past not to trust them and they are not able to earn the trust back.
You no longer care
You no longer are motivated to fix the relationship anymore. That is you saying you want out. So take that as a sign.
The Cons outweigh the pros
Make a list. Write down why you are in the relationship and why you don’t want to be in the relationship. Continue this activity for a bit so it is not just based on today’s mood or fight. If the cons continuously outweighing the pros that is a sign you need to break.
Again make sure you have discussed the cons with your partner and it is not something fixable.
Wrap Up of Signs you should break up
This list is something you can use if you have already put in the work and the relationship is not working. It is not a sign to run away from a relationship because you are scared of commitment.
A long lasting relationship takes work. Of course, there are things like physical and emotional abuse that should not be tolerated at all. But then are things like a fight about who is going to the dishes that are going to happen and it is okay. There are going to be hiccups because human beings are complicated and there are ways to strengthen the relationship.
If there are problems, look for solutions to strengthen your relationship like communicating or therapy. If you have tried everything that is when you should decide to break up.
Being in a relationship because you are too scared to break up, hurt someones feeling or scared of finding someone better are not good reasons to stay in a relationship.