You see someone having the time on their life on Instagram and it becomes hard not to compare your ordinary life to theirs. They are partying in boats and chilling with friends while you are on a sofa wearing the same clothes you were wearing yesterday. You want that life and wonder why you don’t have it all? Does this sound like you? It might be time to stop comparing yourself to others.
Social Media and Comparisons
Social media has been very dangerous for us as reality is now blurred. We have started comparing ourselves to things that are not even realistic. People take pictures with props in their home and it came seem like they are partying outside. One moment seems like it is representing their life. It seems like they are always happy because people only show their best parts on Instagram. You start comparing this fake world to your real life where you have emotions, feel down and where some days are bad and some days are good.
My own Instagram only has travel pictures when in real life in the last 3 years I have travelled once. It shows me in all these watery areas when I have a fear of swimming. It is not that I am trying to create a fake life but that is what Instagram has become. We have to learn to differentiate between real life and a moment in someone’s life.
I remember on Facebook we would just put albums. There wasn’t that like button that made us work. We probably cared what pictures we posted but it was to a lesser degree. Even though Instagram has removed the like button the damage has been done. The reel views is basically the same thing and so is the comment section. Everything makes us want to only put pictures up that are the best. There’s nothing wrong with put up your best pictures the problem is us humans looking at other peoples pictures and then comparing our normal life to it.
Comparing your body
The way we look at our body has become unhealthy after comparing ourselves. Models in magazines are photoshopped. When I look at a model I didn’t automatically think unattainable photoshop standard. I used to think how can I get that body. Why can’t my body do that. We have to be consciously thinking to fight against this comparison. We have started thinking the model’s bodies are normal where there are zero stretch marks and love handles. When in reality every has stretch marks and some sort of love handles.
When you look at something frequently enough you start believing it is the truth. Photoshop models became the standard we were trying to reach. Now the filters on Instagram have distorted what a real person looks like. We see someone with the perfect jaw and eyes and feel bad about our imperfect face. No one is as perfect as those filters but we have started confusing that with reality.
For me it is important to follow some Instagrammers that show the truth. They promote body positivity and show case what they really look like. Having such influencers on Instagram provide you with a mix off what real life really looks like for them. They showcase what they eat and it is not just oats and salad.
We also have to realize that make up and surgeries also play a big part in how people look. If you are comparing yourself to someones botoxed face of course it isn’t going to match. So be kind to yourself and stop comparing.
Appreciating the Journey
When you look at someone on Social Media they will showcase that in 6 months they went from not knowing their passion to miraculously being a millionaire. We love stories like that but they are actually causing us to be unhappy. We start expecting that should happen to us. When in truth reaching your goals is a long journey and it isn’t all about the end destination. It is about the journey itself and enjoying the curveballs in the middle that might lead us somewhere else.
Feeling the sad feels
It is okay to sometimes feel sad or angry. Only if we allow ourselves to feel these emotions can we feel joy. If we end up supressing these emotion we will supress happiness as well as all the emotions are connected. Everyone has problems and it might not look like that when we are comparing ourselves. We have to learn to be happy for other people and be compassionate towards ourselves. We are where we are meant to be and a work in progress.
What can you do to stop comparing yourself?
Be happy for the people that are doing well and be proud of yourself for where you are now. Because you are exactly where you are meant to be. Making yourself believe that can be hard so that is why you have to take small steps and first start with a thought that you find believable and slowly work you’re your way. To learn more about the process read our blog on thought ladder.
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