To transform dating into a relationship it is important to have the where is this relationship going conversation.
Now all of us dread this conversation because there is a chance the other person might not want the same things as us. This would lead to the end of whatever was going on. But going out of your comfort zone is always rewarding. u
How to have the Where is this relationship going conversation
Ask yourself is it the right time?
Sometimes it is too early to have the conversation. So, don’t just have it after one date or three dates. Wait a month or two and then have the conversation. But do this depending on your timelines and how you think the relationship is going. There isn’t an exact calculation for when the right time is. But use your common sense and ask yourself is it the right time for me?
People will try to tell you when the right time for you is. But only you can decide that so ask yourself instead.
Have you previously had the are we exclusive conversation? That can help you decide whether it is the right time for the relationship conversation. Based on your previous experience you can decide how to go about this conversation.
Figuring out why is it important to have the conversation
What we need to be thinking of us is why it is important to have the where is this relationship going conversation.
If you want to have the conversation you clearly want more. Isn’t it better to find out what the other person wants instead of being in Limbo? You can’t tell what they are thinking unless you ask. Yeah, there is a risk but there is a chance they want the same thing. The worst that can happen is they so no. And is that really that bad? If they get scared of your question then you need to think is that person even right for me?
Whatever the outcome you will know where you stand. It will allow you to decide your next steps. Not knowing leaves us in misery. If we find out we might have a happy outcome and if we don’t at least we know. So we can come out of our misery and have an end.
How to have the where is this relationship going conversation
So, now we know why the conversation is important let’s move on to how to have it. It is can be awkward and scary to be vulnerable. But it is also courageous to let the other person know. Don’t think of it as a desperate act if the other person views it as that they are immature. You don’t want to be with them.
Don’t just text and have the conversation this is an intimate moment. It is difficult to gauge what the other person is thinking in text. Yeah, it is easy but we probably won’t have the most meaningful conversation.So many misunderstandings happen because of texting.
Having this conversation in person is the best idea. Because you are intimate. You can see the other person’s body language and have a meaningful conversation. Now in the pandemic that is not necessarily an option so pick up the phone and have the conversation instead.
Honesty is the best policy
Don’t make the conversation stressful by saying we need to talk. This is an important conversation but you can keep it light.
Let the other person know what you are looking for and ask them what they are looking for. If you don’t want it to be a hookup and want something more this is your moment to say it.
If the other person wants to take it slow and you don’t understand what that means ask them. We can’t read each other’s minds. If you have questions or thoughts discuss them so you can be on the same page. This is your moment, to be honest. This communication can strengthen your relationship.
This whole conversation might not be something the other person has thought about. Allow them time to think if that’s what they ask for. This conversation is just to let the other person know where you stand. It might take them time to decide where they stand.
You might think waiting for the other person is okay and that’s fine. On the other hand, you don’t want to wait and that is okay as well.
Now some people believe no conversation is necessary and if it’s meant to work it will happen organically. Yeah, sometimes things go smoothly and organically. You can wait a bit if you think things are going in a certain direction But that is not always the case where things will happen organically. So, don’t think just because you need to have the talk there is something wrong.
Is there a perfect situation to have this conversation
I think a good timing is right before you are getting dropped home or close to the end of the night. Not if it is tiring night where you both are tired and not in the mood for talking. You don’t want it to be in the middle of a good moment because it might change the mood or be a mood killer. But honestly don’t think too much about the perfect situation there probably isn’t one so go for it when you feel like it. It might not be ideal but that is okay. It is mainly about what you are saying not the exact moment you are saying it at.
Things might not go as expected
You might ask the person where they see this relationship going and they tell you they are confused or not ready yet. That might not be the answer you are looking for and it can be disappointing. So don’t go in expecting a certain answer. It is going to take sometime for the person to take in the information. Evaluate how things go after the conversation and then decide whether you still want to date the person and give it more time. Whatever you choose is based on your situation and feelings. Everyone is different.
You can take time to make your relationship stronger by working on relationship rules for couples.
Ask yourself these questions before having the where is this relationship going conversation:
Is it time to have ‘the talk’?
Why do I want to have ‘the talk’?
Do I think it will happen naturally?
What do I want to say?