If you have been single for a while the question ‘why am I still single’ has probably popped up in your head. It is hard not to think whether it is something you are doing wrong. So let’s discuss what could be happening.
Let’s hash our why you are still single
Are you expecting perfection?
We sometimes go into a relationship expecting the other person to be perfect. If we are adding someone to our lives we don’t want them to decrease our living standard we want them to amplify it. But that’s where the issue comes we make checklists. We expect people to come into a relationship being exactly how we want them to be. That is not possible. Of course, you can have some dealbreakers and you should. But when the list is 20 things deep it is hard for someone to match it up.
The older we get the list keeps increasing I want 6 feet, with blue eyes, the same religion as me, likes the same things as me, willing to travel, likes trying new food and the list goes on.
Write down your checklist and cancel everything but the top 5 things. Physical attraction is important but you also have to realize that looks are not going to stay forever. So try to think are things I am looking for going to last? Are they things that can be developed with time?
We often confuse nerves and stress with attraction
Had a guy not responding to you and somehow it made you even more interested. It s because we equal that stress and not knowing what happens as attraction. When someone pulls away we pull towards. We have confused feeling uncomfortable as attraction. If he is making your stomach hurt it might not necessarily be a good thing.
We attract what we think we deserve
We might think we deserve crap and we attract crap then. We think we deserve someone who doesn’t put in the effort and show up and that’s the type of person we attract then. Those types of relationships are going to fall apart and you will be single again.
You are great and you deserve great so let the universe know that.
We lack a growth mindset
The relationship takes work but we expect everything to be amazing from the beginning. There are going to be complications. No one is going to do everything you want. Put in the work like you do with anything else and you will see the result. Have a growth mindset about the relationship.
Not willing to compromise
When two people live together there have to compromise about some things. We have been made to become so independent that we aren’t willing to compromise. So are you willing to put someone else’s needs in some things before you own? Are willing for someone to do that for you as well.
We are expecting to love ourselves completely before going into a relationship
There’s this trend going around where people think that they can’t be with anyone if they don’t love themselves. You can work on loving yourself in the relationship. It is daily work that you should be putting in but you don’t have to do it alone.
Might be pulling away
Think about how you behave on dates. Even when you are interested do you give the vibe that you aren’t. Reflect on how you have behaved in the past. Your body language can give a lot away. If you are always pulling away and trying to be on the other end of the room it might give the person you are on a date with the vibe that you aren’t interested.
The timing might not be right for you
It takes time if you are putting it out in the universe and trying actively to find someone you will find someone for you. You just have to keep at it. When you give up the universe gives up as well and it could be a minute before you were going to get the thing. So put in your effort and then trust the universe.
As long you are doing everything in your power then there isn’t much you can do. Know that you are great single or in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with you! And you will not be single forever!