We are in a culture where it is encouraged to date more people at the same time. Being exclusive straight away is considered bad and more choice is good. But you know what happens with more choice more indecision, confusion, and unsatisfaction. That is why dating multiple guys never works.
Why dating multiple guys never works discussion
When one guy doesn’t give you the attention you can just message the other one instead of facing what bothers you. This has caused us to just keep rotating instead of dealing working on the relationship. Oh, he didn’t text me one day so I am just going to ignore him talk to someone else. This sort of attitude keeps you in a cycle where you don’t face your real feelings.
A relationship takes work when things get tough you can’t have the mentality that you will just find something easier. Of course, it depends on the challenge but every relationship requires work. If we keep dating multiple guys we will always keep taking the easier option instead of trying to put in the effort to fix our current option.
Have the conversations like where is this relationship is going and are we exclusive instead of trying to escape out of fear.
It makes it harder to figure out what you want
Some people are good at picking from a variety of products but others just get stumbled at the amount of the choice. Think of when you go to pick a perfume and there is so much variety. By the end, it gets confusing what to even buy because there are too many. That is what happens on dating apps when you trying dating multiple guys you have decision fatigue.
Even when you have something perfectly good you are left wondering is there something better out there. Because of the abundance of choice and having all those swipes waiting we are constantly overwhelmed.
You will always feel there is something better out there
It makes it hard to choose one person when you always think you have the option of better. The guy might be great and cute but you will think to yourself can I find someone cuter. Oh, he has everything but maybe I could find someone funnier. Trying to one-up the person you are with keeps you dissatisfied and always looking for something else.
Be content with the date you currently have instead of thinking who you can date next and going on the dating app and swiping. Enjoy the moment the current. Practice mindfulness while dating.
It has become normal to come back from a date and then just going back on the app and finding someone else. Take a moment to take in the date and how much fun you had instead of thinking what is the next best thing you could get your hands on.
I am guilty of this too after a date I go back on the app and then I look at when the other person was online and I am not surprised to see they did the same thing.
Time and Effort
You are dividing your effort and time between multiple people that you might end up not truly given anyone a shot. So, instead, focus on one person give your full at it, and then if it doesn’t work move onto the next one. It is better to give your full to one thing than half ass 3 things.
For example, I was dating two guys at the same time and one of them didn’t reply to the last ‘lol’ message I sent him. If I wasn’t dating the other guy I probably would have made more effort instead of just ending the conversation with lol. When I stopped dating the other guy I then put in the effort on the first guy. I found out that he had taken the ‘lol’ as me not being interested and that’s why he had stopped messaging me. When you are dating two guys you don’t put in sufficient effort. When something seems complicated you end up bailing instead of figuring out what’s happening.
If you have only one day a week to date and you are dating multiple people are you going to have sufficient time to get to know one person? Makes you wonder doesn’t it?
Ask yourself these questions so you can figure out why dating multiple guys never works
- When I date multiple people am I able to give them all the effort they deserve?
- While dating multiple guys do I emotionally drain myself? If so what are ways that I can regain my energy?
- If it gets challenging with one person do I try to escape to another person?
- Do I allow myself to be content with who I am with currently or am I always thinking about the next person to date?
- Do you appreciate what you currently have or always think there is something better out there?
- Is too much choice giving you decision fatigue?
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