Where 2021 has been the year where I have heard the most engagements ( not sure if it is my age or the world is just getting hitched), I instead have had lots of dating moments. I won’t call them fails because getting to know anyone has some learning it and makes you one step closer to finding out what you don’t want. They are some funny dating mishaps though. But it is important to note the Universe gives you exactly what you need when you need it.
I am a firm believer in ‘you find someone when you are meant to’ and well it just isn’t my time yet. So, instead, I will provide you with my funniest stories and lessons learned for 2021.
Dating Mishaps or Adventures?
The One that wants you to be better than him
So the year started with my mom setting me up with someone. As usual, when your mom sets you up guys come in with a marriage checklist. Top to bottom you got to be what they want you to be. Sometimes, they don’t even have the qualities they want you to have. But of course, you might end up being the mother of their child and you need to instill things in their children that they obviously can’t if they don’t have their qualities. Who is going to be the role model that prays and does everything right if it isn’t you? (eye roll)
With all the pressure of being set up, you start doubting whether you are being too picky? I started having the same doubts. Convincing myself to be with people that I didn’t have anything in common with because maybe I was being too picky. This made me realize my gut feelings are real. My instincts and what they are telling me matter. I can’t force myself to like anyone. There are expectations that I have and it is okay. I don’t believe in having a checklist. But I do believe when you give something a true shot and you still have an ill feeling to let go.
The same people that my mom sets me up with are on dating apps doing whatever they want. So, what advantage is having my mom being involved? That left me to give up on trying to find someone through my mom and I started my own adventure of dating online.
The One that wants you to act like a girlfriend but won’t commit
So, I moved on to the dating apps. The first guy I met was fun. It was easy to talk to him and we started hanging out and 3 months down the lie he didn’t want to even think about a relationship. He would treat me like a girlfriend with everything but apparently adding that title was too scary. Not that he was seeing anyone else. Now I personally, didn’t even know if I wanted to be his girlfriend but the fact that he didn’t want me to be it pushed me towards wanting to be it. Soon I realized to give up on that. If someone isn’t willing to commit to you and expects you to put in the effort it isn’t worth it. If he is acting like your boyfriend but won’t label it have the conversation and find out what’s going on. Of course, don’t be like me and do it even though you might not want it yourself.
The One that comes on Strong
I have noticed when a guy calls you babe in the first week it is a signal for running away. When people come onto strong they’re definitely treating 5 other people like that and as bursting the energy will be of showing all that emotion that’s how fast it will go away. So watch out for that guy who gives you those extra emojis. That guy is sending you good morning heart heart is the one that is bursting with flame but that flame will go away as fast as it burst.
Being busy is not an excuse
Life happens and there will always be times when someone is busy. It is about the person that takes the time out for you when they are busy. You will hear all sorts of excuses in dating. To someone wanting to have enough money, have their career set and it goes on. There will be someone that is willing to grow with you and give you time. So, wait for that. I have honestly, heard every excuse there is for not being ready yet and needing more time. Go for someone that is willing to give you the energy you think you deserve.
Be yourself eventually
I thought maybe I was meeting people that thought I was more liberal than I am. So, I decided to meet someone and not give that impression. I was following the advice of putting your best foot forward. I realized through this you are who you are. You can’t put your best foot forward forever. Be with someone you can be yourself with. Give your best impression on the first 3 dates but then it is time to act like yourself. I don’t want to be wearing a mask my whole life. I am looking to be me and that is good enough.
Am I giving off a friend vibe?
This was probably the funniest thing that has happened to me. I spoke to the guy on the phone it was aight. As interesting as a phone call can be. For me, it is like practicing for an interview developing my phone skills. I rather meet someone in person and get to know them. Yeah, it takes time but choose something close to you and give it an hour. Give it your best shot without that checklist that’s how you meet someone right. Anyway, the phone call went okay it was time for a date. I got a bit busy so he suggested a video call. We had a video call. Now, my one recommendation to you is never to have a debate on a first video call, phone call, or date (that seems like common sense advice). It does not give the right impression. I knew it was going downhill when he wanted to debate.
Been in that situation before where it just doesn’t give the right impression. There is no problem with debating but when you have one shot to give someone an impression of your life you don’t want it to be a glimpse of your arguing or your opinions being drastically different.
So we debated, religion! Well, you know how that ends. But the funniest thing is the reason he didn’t think we would hit it off is because I was giving a good friendly vibe. Explain, to me how someone can give off a friend vibe through the video? It gets funnier cause he has actually been trying to be friends. I think he is just going through something and doesn’t want to date but I had never knew you could give a friend vibe through video. Well, a new experience was learned.
Wrap Up of 2021
Dating mishaps can be exhausting . Even, if I know it’s entertaining and fun. So, that’s me signing out from my dating life for the rest of 2021. 2022 you better know it my effort and spark are coming back in full form. But every girl needs a break!