When clicking through profiles on Hinge and other apps when I have too much information about them I start to doubt myself. Oh, he likes to workout so much what will he think about the fact that I have no muscles or get tired if I jog for 5 minutes. He sounds so intellectual with that one smart quote what will we talk about. His interests are politics and history will I be able to say something smart enough. The list goes on but the gist of it is all those points have to do with ‘will he like me.’ When what I should be looking for is ‘will I like him.’ Changing the way you think can change the way you date. So let’s stop thinking he’s too good for me.
The vibe you give when you come from a place of ‘will he like me’ is completely different from when you are trying to figure out if you like someone. When you think you are less then someone else they can feel that energy. Instead try to be yourself. You are good enough to find someone suitable for you.
This goes for looks as well if you think someone is way better looking than you and out of your league you will act differently. Instead, if you give off confidence that will be something they will be attracted to.
You are trying to find someone good enough for you. You are not trying to prove you are good enough for someone else. Let’s get started on talking about how to change our mind from thinking he’s too good for me to thinking I am good enough.
Changing the thought that he’s too good for me
Stretch your arms and legs wide and sit for a minute. Feel that stress release from your body and that confidence take over. When we make our body small we feel tension build up. Before a date just like an interview I like to do exercises to build my confidence. Learn more about power poses through Amy Cuddy.
Positive self talk
Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are good enough. You will find the right one! You are deserving of love and anyone would be lucky to have you. Saying things to boost your confidence can change your vibe. Try this prior to a date to get you on the right track.
Go with the intention of having fun
Dating is not a waste of time. If it doesn’t work you find out what you don’t like. You get to try out something new and meet someone. I have had dates where at the beginning I have thought this is so awkward but ask some questions help the person relax they might not be one you want to end up with but you can still enjoy yourself. The person might not end up being my future partner but I got an opportunity to meet someone with an interesting story and that is a gift of its own.
Don’t put to much pressure on yourself
I am guilty of this that I start planning my future with just a picture of the person. When you put too much into the date even before it has started the expectations are high and the way you act becomes different. You don’t want to make the slightest mistake. Overthinking comes into play because you want to say the right thing. This takes the fun out of dating and makes it super stressful. The best dates I have had are ones that I have been able to be myself and feel relaxed. Yeah, there is a chance it might work out and he is your future partner but don’t go thinking this is the one. That is way to much pressure to put onto anything.
Things to think about
Notice how you behave on a date when you don’t think you are good enough. You will overthink every step do things to please the other person. People can tell when you aren’t being authentic or trying too hard. So what can you change about that?
Reminders – You are good enough!
It is important to remember everyone is just a normal human being. No one is better or worse than you. We all have insecurities and things we feel good about even that person that looks like they’re out of your league.
Enjoyed this blog you might find value in checking out our blog on coming from a place a lack.